Of Mice and Men George Milton’s Diary Essay

Dear Diary,This has been the worst day Ive constantly had and I dont conceive of I am gonnar substantiate a worse one again. I had to do it. I had to scenery Lennie it wasnt any matter evil. I didnt wanna hurt Lennie. At that moment, I didnt have any choice that to do it. He was my completely admirer not only friend, we were more desire a family. We had been friends since when we were boys. Oh I look so awful I believe that Lennie didnt do any harm. At least he never meant any. He is simple-minded. Lennie is an innocent, same(p) as a child. I shouldnt have left him alone. I flavour so terrible. He never meant any harm. His mind is worry a child. Lennie never meant to hurt people. He always take aways me into terrible trouble. Hes a crazy bastard. I mean he was. Oh, I feel so awful What exit I do this instant? What can I do? I suppose the only thing to do is to spend my money on his ideate, to view as it come true. I want Lennies dream to come true because he died im agining the dream.It was a Sunday afternoon. We were just having a game of horseshoes. Lennie hadnt been with me since we startedplaying horseshoes. He was in the barn with that stupid pup, I think, I did leave him in the bunkhouse, exactly he ended up there. Anyway, we were on the whole playing and I had no thought ab by Lennie or what he was doing. In the middle of the game, shortly Candy was c completelying me over to the barn. For a second, I mat up she was just resting. She was laying there, I went near by her and I saw her sleep together every twisted and her face d confess in the straw. Lennie did it. Crazy bastard. I knew he was the only one, but from in brass of my mind it was killing me. I dont jazz why that is, I never felt like that before. In the back of my mind, I always knew that he would go too far, that he wasnt safe and should not been left alone. entirely I didnt wanna think like that. straight off I had to.I knew that I had to get to Lennie before them. I told Candy to make verboten I had never seen and tell the others and then take me. I had to go to the bunkhouse and get Carlsons Luger. People in the ranch were all blaming Lennie. They were all thinking that Lennie did it. Curley was screaming and shouting. He was shoken up and ready to explode. Curley scared me by screaming like that and looking at me like that but I had to keep my cool. I just pretended that I was on their side, out to kill for murder. The word sends a shiver down me and I recognize I have done it now. Lennie always say to me that we were the same, like we were before. provided Slim knew what I was doing though. He knew me well enough. I sent Curley in the other direction from where I knew Lennie was. He would go to the brush like I told him to. He always tried to do what I told him. I ran off and found him straight away. Lennie hid in the brush by the pool. He was sitting there by the river and he was talk to himself. He unbroken saying sick he knew that I would look after him. He made me tell him about our farm house for what was to be the ultimately era. I mentioned it, and, he heard it. I told him not to look at me. I was trying to be a man but I couldnt control my eyes and hands. I was shaking too. I talked piano to him about the little say we would have together, then I cracking him with Carlsons gun. When the other men found me near by Lennie, they all assumed I shot Lennie in self-defence. Only Slim understands what I did and whyAt that moment the brush has changed. At the beginning it was affluent of light and at the end it was dark. When I shot Lennie the world seemed to get darker and darker. Ive never seen brightness since I shot Lennie.My go around friend Lennie is dead now. Lennies body was lying on one side of the river where the golden foothill slopes up to the strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains. At that moment the inject was so lifeless, a little wind was moving among the leaves. At that time the place was s o quiet and soulless. We were thinking about Lennies burial. Slim, Candy, Crooks and I were thinking Lennie should be buried near by the pool because Lennie love that place so much. We wanted Lennie buried near the pool he loved, in a quiet serene place. When I was burying Lennie I remembered all the things he used to say to me. His dreams of the rabbits he would tend when he and I got our land. He was only worried about me not allow him tend the rabbits. Lennie liked to pet soft things, like puppies and dead mice. We inhabit this got him into trouble in Weed when he tried to feel a girls soft red dress she thought he was going to attack her. And now I remember all the things he did and he used to say.On Lennies gravestone I testament write To my dear friend and companion 1905-1937. I promised Lennies aunt Clara that I would care for him. I looked after all Lennies affairs, such as carrying his work card, and trying to steer him out of potential trouble. Now I feel completely al one, upset, lonely and lost. I dont know where to go. Now I think Lennie was everything in my world. It seems to me I lady friend him a lot. I couldnt keep Lennies promise. I am sorry Lennie. Forgive me if you can.At this time I have unconquerable to think about my future. Lennie has died because of me. The end was dreadful, with the death of Lennie. At least Lennies death was painless, and Lennie died imagining the dream. My dream and Candys dreams were shattered by the absence seizure of Lennie. Candy has only his own death to look forward to and he has nothing but the life of an old ranch hand to live.At the end of the day, the story has a great sense of irony. For instance, I said that I wanted Lennie out of my life but I am emotionally lost without Lennie. Another thing I cant forget is when Candy told me that he wished hed shot his own dog himself. I have taken this information from Candy as advice, and I shot Lennie in to save him from a cruel death.I cant forget things that Lennie did and used to say. I remember all the things I cant forget him. When ever I go to the ranch I remember all the things I just feel like he is talking to me and playing with that stupid puppy.At the moment, I have decided to leave the ranch and go to another place so I can live better. In this ranch I just remember Lennie everywhere. I dont know what to do. I think I should go to another place and make Lennies dream come true. Lennie told me that he wanted to have rabbits in the tend however, I dont like it at all. Anyway I have to do this for my dear friend Lennie. I want his dream to come true. Therefore, I will make his dream true. I will go to another place and find some work and make money for Lennies dream. I will always keep our dream. I am so sorry Lennie. I hope you will liberate me. If I still believed in God (a part of me that was there but now has gone) I would pray to ask Lennie to forgive me. Lennie you were my only friend, my best friend, and I wish you were still here for me, only me. And I in any case wish Lennie to be with me for the whole of my life but my wish will not be coming true anymore.Now I feel even guiltier about Lennie nearly drawing when I told him to jump in the Sacramento River. I am truly sorry Lennie as at that time I was mentally lost. I didnt know what to do. I was telling you to jump in the river. I am so sorry about that, I didnt mean to do that to you. I am so sorry, please forgive me. That time my emotions were co9nfused and I wasnt in a good mood. I was so angry I didnt know what I was saying. Though I knew that you dont know how to swim I still told you to jump in the river. Now I know how I feel without you. You are the only friend I ever had. You were more like family, not only a friend. I am so sorry Lennie.I dont feel like Lennie is dead. I feel like he is sitting beside me and talking about the stupid pups. The place is so lifeless. I dont feel like giving him up. He was the best friend I ever had. Th ank you so much Lennie, for being my friend. You are in truth nice person, I didnt know that when you were alive. I used to think you were not important but now it seems you are a really important person. I am so sorry Lennie that I couldnt keep your promise.I am really sorry Lennie.Yours honestlyGeorge Milton